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The Gift of Being Real (listen to this excerpt from the classic tale "Velveteen Rabbit", narrated by my friend Anne Hossack)
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 United States License. |
From Jet Set to Desk Set . . .Living a life of passion 20 Minutes in Memphis (August 2008) I was thinking about how much work I personally put into ensuring that my client's coaching experience with me is a high-value proposition for us both. Quite often that means I invest in comprehensive due diligence work up front and at least one hour of post-follow-up work for every one-one coaching or consulting hour I spend with a client. Thinking about this reminded me of the time I spent "20 minutes in Memphis". Flash back to 1992. I was an IT Manager for a Fortune 100 healthcare company and was heading up a custom price-break project for a well-known hospital in Memphis, Tennessee. My business liaison on the project had direct contact with the Pharmacy Director who was our client representative from that hospital. Originally, I was to review the requirements design for this project with my business liaison who would in turn review the design with the client and get their approval to move forward. Instead, the client insisted that I fly to Memphis to present the design to him in person. I was told to be prepared for a two-three hour meeting with this client. So, I did what I always do - - I did everything I needed to do to ensure a "killer" presentation and a happy client. That meant preparation of top notch documentation and rehearsal after rehearsal of the presentation. I was ready to "knock 'em dead". Got on the plane, got a decent night's sleep, accompanied my business liaison to the hospital and met with the client at 9am on the dot. Introductions were done, opening remarks were made by my business liaison, and then the meeting was turned over to me. I began my opening remarks when the client politely interrupted by asking a couple of pointed questions. He then said, "the design is fine as is. I just wanted to meet the project lead in person to make sure for myself that the best person is on this project. I'm convinced." I answered his questions and we were done. The client was very happy and was very excited to move forward, thanked us and escorted us out to the hospital lobby. The time now was "9:20am". We had spent a total of 20 minutes in our meeting and won the client's confidence to move forward. I was happy and perplexed at the same time. Being very glad to have concluded a successful meeting with the client and received praise for my work, I was now wondering what the heck I was going to do for the other 9 hours and 40 minutes before my plane left for home :) P.S. There's more to this story that includes Graceland and the flight home - - but that's for another "Then and Now" segment :) =========================== Saving Grace (June 2008)
My maternal Grandmother's name was Momi Grace Jacobs. She was
one of many examples in our family of what you can accomplish when you set
your mind to it. Over the course of her multi-career lifetime, Grandma Momi
was one of the first flight attendants for Hawaiian Airlines in the early
1940's, an entertainer touring with the Kodak Hula Show in the 1950's, and a
nurse in the 1960's-70's.
Because Grandma Momi had more than one career during her
lifetime, she was someone I eagerly sought advice from when it came time for
me to figure out "what I wanted to be when I grew up." Of course, she
had a way of making me think for myself. Whenever I would ask Grandma
Momi for advice, she would always assure me that no matter what career path I
chose, the outcome would be alright because in the end everything is "as it
should be". All roads converge when the time is right.
Today, I can see how the long road I've taken throughout my own career was actually inspired by the journey taken by Grandma Momi. In doing so, she let me know that no matter what road I chose to travel, I would make it my own. I would learn that it is up to me, and only me, to choose to live my life "as it should be". One of these days I'll get around to sharing the stories of my grandfathers - Grandpa Bassani immigrated from Italy and Grandpa Lee immigrated from Mongolia China. Both men ended up in Hawaii during the early 1920's. I guess all roads do converge when the time is right :) The value of telling stories (April 2008) In the past few months I have been given two opportunities to "tell my life story". One is a potential book collaboration, the other is my own memoir. Both intuitively seem like the right thing for me to accept, but I remain non-committal to both. I wonder why? I've been telling little pieces of my story for years, usually as anecdotes in formal presentations or as a sharing of wisdom through letters. As I get older I gain more experiences hence more little anecdotal story pieces to share. But, now we're talking about telling my life story. As a very private person, that doesn't come easy for me mainly because I really don't see the point. There are millions of stories told everyday, what's one more? Then, just a few minutes ago I found my answer. I was shuffling a few magazines around in our family room when I caught the title of a cover article: "1968 The Year that Rocked Our World". I opened the magazine, found the article and skimmed through the pages reading the bold section headings. I glimpsed through the highlights of the first section titled "1968 Courage" and then the second titled "1968 Revelation". Turning the page, I came to the section titled "1968 Inspiration" and glanced immediately towards an old photograph of Judy Collins. To the right of the photograph were these words from her quote: "The world changed because of the music. People began to listen to words, they wanted to hear a story, because ultimately it's the personal that matters; it's how we fight our daily wars. That's what connects us." There was my answer. I know 40 years have passed since 1968. But, Judy's message feels very timely for me. Yes, there was my answer. Best/LLR :) ================================= Real Life is No Place for Crybabies © 2008 - LLR Early in my corporate career, my mentor advised me that doing what is comfortable is a sure fire way to be mediocre. So it makes sense to me, that for most of my corporate career I thrived on standing near the edge - - close enough to lean over and see how far the drop was - - but never too close to endanger myself or those within close proximity. Apparently I took his advice to heart because for me, mediocre was never going to be good enough. Fast forward 20 years. Life has a funny way of throwing you a curve when you least expect it. I'm not telling you anything new - - most of you have experienced this time and time again. But, I think the key to success in handling these curves, is not necessarily in having the "perfect" plan or a script to follow, but in knowing when to deviate from the script and do what scares you the most - - living a "real" life and improvising enough to discover your ultimate self. Real life is temporary, it comes and it goes. It seems to require a lot of personal loss in order to find whatever it is you're looking for. I'm still practicing my life, trying to discover my ultimate self. Experience helps me realize that practice doesn't make me perfect . . . practice makes me "real". We can all spend a lot of time convincing ourselves that something is too difficult, or too complicated, or too much work, or too this and too that. But, nothing worth having in this life is easy to come by. I choose to bend not break, stand up after I've fallen, and be accountable when things "get all messed up". Real life, after all, is no place for crybabies. The future remains bright for me - - I hope the same for you. Best/LLR :) =================================== Are you trippin'? (December 2007) I just heard someone say, "the people who are always falling down are the ones who are afraid to trip." That comment really got me thinking about the first time I tripped. The year was 1969 and . . . I was walking home from Kalaheo Intermediate School. The "really cool" boy I had a 7th-grade-crush on was walking in the same direction but he was across the street and just a little ahead of me. I kept looking over at him, each of my glances was a little bit longer than the last. Everything was wonderful - - the sun was shining, the school day was over, and that "really cool" boy was just in sight. And then, "bam!" - - I walked right into a telephone pole, nailing my right shoulder hard enough to send me spinning out of control! It was a really good trip as far as form goes. I lost my books all over the place but I regained my balance quickly enough not to fall. Even so, I could feel myself turn red from head to toe as I picked up my books. I couldn't even bear to look up to see if "he" saw me trip. I kept my eyes forward and just walked as if no one mattered. But after a few steps I couldn't help but look over to see where "he" was. Well, "he" was well on his way - - as if nothing had happened. Maybe he didn't see me trip - - maybe he did. I'll never know. But, then - - I really don't care because here's what I learned: - - Form only matters in terms of recovery. If you're going to trip, make it a good one and then recover with grace and move on. - - Tripping is much better than falling down. Particularly at this age when the ground seems to be a lot farther away than when I was a kid. I'll take a trip over a fall any day. - - Just when you think everything is "perfect", something comes out of the blue to tell you otherwise. Just accept it as an opportunity to take a risk and go with it. - - Most importantly, watch where you're going! Best/LLR ============================ A Life of Perpetual Surprise (November 2007) Then - The key to success was to plan alternative paths so that there would be "no surprises". Now - Traveling lightly and living a life of perpetual surprise. The road I took to get me where I am today has been a long and winding one. Everyday I wake up to something new, something unknown, its all been something of a surprise . . .and then . . .it dawns on me - - - it really has been about the journey. I recently came across an old family photograph taken of me with my mom and dad back in Japan (1957). Here's this little girl, in a cute dress with cute shoes and cute bows in her hair - - it was all too cute to think it was me. My mom and dad are sitting together on the grass as I stand there in all my cuteness. I guess the only thing I didn't think was that cute about the picture was the baby bottle of milk I'm holding (which must be lunch). As I stared at this photograph, I kept wondering "how in the world did I get from there to here"? I planned my first career life with alternative paths so that there would be little or no surprises in the outcome. The key to success for me at the time was defined by the fact that risk would be managed with contingency plans. Now that I think about it, I believe the reason I always had back up plans was because I was afraid to fail. I was wired to "do things right". As I grew to learn how to "do the right things", my fear of failure began to give way to courage. Today, I set my compass with a base plan and an open mind. I keep my options open to explore what's around the next bend. I'm traveling more lightly with less burden and very little regret. I haven't mastered the art of the journey yet. I'm still practicing, wondering, and being happy. I begin each day knowing there will be a little surprise, even if it's a cute one. Best/LLR :) ================================= Discovering What's Unique about the Real You (October 2007) I appreciate each and every moment of clarity that comes along. My latest moment came during a conversation with someone I recently met over a cup of coffee as we exchanged ideas on whether its "better" to be a generalist or a specialist. As we spoke, what became clear to me was the rediscovery of what makes me "unique". Some of the "best of the best" will tell you to narrow your business focus and define a specialty (niche) to set yourself self apart from your competition and find "that thing you do" that makes you unique. When I started by own business, it took me quite a while to settle on which core competencies to focus on. I possess a broad repertoire built up over my 25 year career, having come out of the Corporate arena as a strategic generalist in business mergers and acquisitions with a specialty in healthcare IT systems. I excelled at bouncing between a perspective at ground zero up to 40,000 feet and back again. I was uniquely effective in operating in that state of change. Then, when it came time to focus on a niche market for my career coaching and consulting business, I chose Baby Boomers. Not exactly a "niche" if you consider there are more than 76 million Baby Boomers in the United States. But, I was thinking "big". Two and a half years into my business, I was compelled to expand my market to include recent college graduates (children of Baby Boomers) known as the Echo Generation who possessed a totally different communication style than what I had been dealing with. Some of my advisors were a bit perplexed and wondered how I would connect the dots between this extreme audience gap. But, I knew what they didn't know. . .I knew what the "real" me was capable of. Now, I'm happily and effectively servicing a very broad group of clients. Everyone from 20-something to 60-something, all industries, all levels within an organization, business owners and employees. It's a broad spectrum of clients, but one that I am expertly suited for. I can assist all of the different generations because my specialty is the Career Continuum - - - encompassing all phases of a person's career; first job, mid-career advancement and lateral moves, career moves within mergers and acquisitions, corporate to entrepreneurial transitions, phased-retirement. . . you name it. That's my unique specialty. . . Now, how's that for finally nailing down a focus? Best/LLR :) ============================ We're Nothing Without Details (July 2007) My brother, CCMSgt Rob Lee III (The 154th Wing
at Wheeler
AAF in Hawaii) has inspired this month's Then and Now topic. His wing recently
underwent its annual Unit Compliance Inspection that reflected his team's
ability
to "pay attention to the details". He is so right - - it's all in the details.
One of the most challenging aspects in effective leadership is the ability to
"see" the details while keeping an eye on the "big picture". As a former
corporate leader, I still find this particular ability to be one of the most
exciting and challenging skills to maintain. Maybe that's why my favorite
painting has been "Sunday in the Park" (A Sunday on La Grande Jatte - 1884) by
French Artist Georges Seurat. =========================== Eyes Wide Open - by Lorraine Rinker (April 2007). I couldn't tell you how many times during my kid-hood my mother would say "there is a time and a place for everything". Usually it meant that it was not the time or the place for whatever it was we (my brothers and I) were doing; but as I got older I learned it meant a lot more. Today, I'm helping many of my clients learn the value of "timing" as they manage their life transitions. Being in the right place at the right time is what helps make a transition worthwhile and/or manageable. Although you may want to take the road less traveled, there are times when you will need to choose the mainstream simply because of financial responsibilities. Rather than feel as if you've "sold out" or "failed" because you have to put your dream on hold, accept the move as a necessary temporary step that will eventually get you closer to where you want to be. It's even better when you've made your decision with your eyes wide open; fully realizing that there will be a "next step" for you to take. Finding the perfect job, finding the perfect candidate, finding the perfect career path; sometimes we need to alter our perception of what "perfect" is and be flexible with our choices. Think about doing what you need to do, and you will make the "right" decision; as long as it is "right" for you. I always say, just do your best and the best will happen. Best/LLR :) ======================= Dodge Ball is Still Not for Whimps - by Lorraine Rinker (March 2007). Looking back on the last two months, I reflected on how I spent January and February "close to home". I visited with my brother in Hawaii for a week in January, spent a week installing (and un-installing then re-installing; this is a whole other story!) a laptop as my new desktop, designed and developed my first R & A Information Product (finally!), began two quilting projects, and wrote my first article as a new volunteer Legislative Analyst for the Lambda Letters Project. Not my usual networking out-and-about type of activities but actually a game of dodge ball, just like I played as a kid . . . Dodge ball was not a game for whimps back then, and it certainly is not a game for whimps now. I hated dodge ball as a kid, but it was a mandatory part of our phys-ed and recess playtime activities ruled over by my grade school teachers. I hated the idea of trying to hit someone with the ball, it didn't matter that it was a "soft" rubber ball. But, being the obedient student, I always participated with a "bring it on" attitude and joined in taking a "hit" whenever I wasn't able to get out of the way. "Bring it on" has been my approach to life as a way to manage (and conquer) my fears. But, recently life has been throwing a few too many "balls" at me all at once. So, I spent the first two months of this year trying not to be "hit" and dodged those life-balls. Then, one day I was talking with a colleague about what it means to "be out there taking risks" and thought that maybe it was time for me to get back in the game, even if it meant getting "hit". So, here I am - - facing my issues and taking a hit every now and again. Some issues you just can't dodge, you have to face them head on. Sure, it still stings a bit (sometimes it stings a lot!); but after the initial sting wears away I'm able to say "bring it on"! Best/LLR :) ================================ The Significance of Sunflowers - by Lorraine Rinker (January 2007). In 1998 I participated in an executive learning forum exercise that required us (directors and vice presidents of a particular Fortune 100 company) to gather items from within our meeting room and create a representation depicting what we perceived our lives would be like ten years hence. Looking around the room, I noticed a vase filled with sunflowers sitting on the buffet table. I grabbed it, walked back to my seat, and waited patiently as everyone else gathered items to construct their "depictions". I didn't really know what my story was going to be, I just knew that I was intuitively drawn to those sunflowers. After twenty minutes, the facilitator asked us to describe our creation one at a time. He chose me to go first, probably because I managed to gather my item so quickly. I said, "Ten years from now, I want to have soft edges in place of all the hard edges I've sharpened during my executive career. I want to plant sunflowers and watch them grow." Again, I heard myself saying these words, tears were even welling up in my eyes; and I began to think that I really didn't know what the heck I was talking about! But as the years passed one by one, it has became more and more clear to me. I knew what I talking about, I just had not clearly envisioned what my life would look like in ten years. I only knew that it included brightness, softness, growth, and wisdom. This summer will mark nine years since that exercise, so I have one more year to go. At this point, I am happy to say that I have replaced almost all of my hard edges with soft ones. Not so much from merely growing older, but by living more for today than yesterday. I try to measure myself more towards the possibilities of my future rather than the glory of my past. The passion I live each day, gets me out of bed to face whatever happens. Don't' get me wrong; I loved my corporate career and derived my leadership ability from my passion to inspire others. I'm just a little more content to not be on center stage. Today, at the end of the day, I face the horizon and think about my sunflowers. Best :) LLR |
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